In the eye of a storm

When we left the small city of Mindelo the chill sailing we were used to turned very hard core, very fast.

The winds were intense and the masts whistled loudly in the wind. I walked out the door and I was met with pure darkness. I saw nothing and had to navigate using the voices of my crew mates. After our guard switch Tage warned us that it was time for “real sailing”.

Our first mission of the night was to hoist the “För Stenge Stag Segel”. The waves splashed and crashed onto the deck making all of us wet and showed me the true power of the ocean. The rest of the watch was rather uneventful. I was lookout or post as some people would call it, and I just looked out over the dark ocean.

When looking out I did some reflections over myself, who I actually am. I know to when I get back i am probably going to change the way I dress, maybe I will get more outlandish clothing. Clothing with more character, more color. Clothes that match with the type of person I am. But then I asked myself, what kind of person am I? Who am I?

I know my name and I know where I grew up, but is that me? Maybe I am what I am to other people, I am a good friend, a good son and in the future I hope to to be a good father, but is that me? Am I just what I am to other people? Am I non existent in a vacuum, don't I exist when I'm not around people?

I wake up, apparently I fell asleep during my watch and forgot to ring the hourly bell. I quickly scratch my eyes and ring the bell and head off to my new post. And yet again I look out over the ocean, it´s more windy now, and even colder then before. What I wouldn't do to be home now. Just to feel comforted by my parents and get to sleep in my own bed.

Felix

Portwatch